It didn’t seem to matter. He’d look out the window into the quiet, empty field and see nothing. Nothing but the shadows cast by the moonlight as they danced effortlessly from tree to tree. They used to love to wander through that field. Late at night, they could leave the house, naked as jaybirds. It was one of the true pleasures of living in the middle of nowhere. The only ones who ever freaked out were the occasional deer as they scampered from the edge of the clearing. There, in the moonlight, they could lay out that big, old bulky blanket. They didn’t use it for anything else. At one time it might have been tan or maybe beige, now it was a collage of color. It had been washed, sewn, patched….so many times. But it really was the perfect blanket for this. There were spots on it. Those were good spots! They could stretch it out there, under the stars. Lie flat and star up into the expanse of the universe. Some night it seemed nice to just be there and hold hands. Sometimes the conversation would be about the stars. Sometimes about the craziness of a work day, sometimes about a shooting star, sometimes about the love they shared. There were nights; when the wind blew just right and it wasn’t too cold they would share each other. Nights like that were magical. Even if it was a little too warm, the sweat just added to that intensity you can only feel with someone else. Those where some of the best nights.
The stream that ran along the back edge of the property was the perfect spot to cool off. He could still see her; naked, running, her silhouette shimmering and dancing along the ground as she moved. It had been a torrid effort that evening. Not in a bad way. But the water would feel so good. He didn’t catch her before she had jumped in. The cool running water was chilling, refreshing, invigorating. He had told her; It almost stopped his heart…like she did. It was just deep enough you could stand, most times of the year. They had tried it once in mid-winter. The general consensus was to never, ever do that again. While it had been a shock to the system. They were both sadly amazed at how everything, yes, everything shrunk.
Thankfully that was what the fireplace was for. As much as the open blanket in the moonlight field was a commune with nature. That fireplace, to warm things up, especially on those nights when you could hear the snow as it brushed against the windows, it worked well in situations like that. More than a few nights they would return to that blanket, not quite dripping wet and plop down like to dogs from a pond. They could lay there, wrapped in each other’s arms, letting the breeze and their breath dry them under the open sky. Those were the nights you hoped would never end. Sometimes, they would fall asleep there. The early birds of the morning as they chased each other across the field would usually wake them. Not the worst way to wake up.
Why they had felt the need to head back into the city, surely must have been out of desperation. The commute, when they needed to, was a long drive, almost an hour each way. He knew…this was where they needed to be. As he looked up and saw that bright, full moon staring at him that familiar ache touched his heart. Now, here he was alone in this field staring up at his past. She was 70 miles away. Home from work. No, at their house after work. It had never felt like home. This felt like home. The only place he could imagine being truly happy was here. How do you make that happen? You just do. That ache, that longing….it wasn’t the same when they weren’t here.
He could never explain to anyone just how amazingly quiet it was here. There were no cars, trains, whistles, sirens….no noise at all, save the rustling of the breeze through the trees. He thought back to a night, it seemed so long ago. It was perhaps their third or fourth visit to the property. Grandad had left him the house and the small parcel of land, but he had failed to appreciate the true beauty of what he had been given. As a small boy he had come here. He sat for hours on the front porch and listened to stories from a time that seemed like it was so long ago. Now he wished he had written down every word; kept notes about every place, person, every moment he had heard mentioned. More than a few battles had been fought not far from here. It seemed they had occurred before the country had even been born. Grandad has some friends who were old Indians. He had never mentioned what nation or what tribe they belonged to. He just mentioned them and the fact that their family and friends had been there long before any settler had crossed the stream into this valley.
There were many nights while Granddad was asleep he would wander out into the darkness and just sit. He drug the old wicker rocker from the porch out into the field. It seemed if you waited long enough, you could stare into the sky and almost see tomorrow. Granddad had always told him that. It took a while for your eyes to become accustomed to the darkness. Slowly, but surely you would see more and more stars. There would be nebula clouds that had not been there before. At first he thought they were clouds, but you could watch them. They weren’t clouds. You could form images in your mind. He slowly started to understand how they had come up with the constellations all those years ago. Sitting there, staring off into the dark, night sky there was always something. There were nights when he would sit for hours. Time didn’t seem to matter much when you were looking out at 4 billion years of work. He’d spent time in private school and even his first nanny had coerced him into church. But as he sat there and stared into the void he knew, as humans, we were too small to have all the answers to what was out there. One night he had started counting just above the tree-line. Each star. He would count them all he thought. It took no time at all to get into the hundreds. He looked down to mark his spot in the sky so he would know where to restart and was stunned to see his gaze had barely moved an inch. It was at that very moment he realized how small and insignificant he was to the universe.
Now, the memories seemed to flood back; more quickly than he could ever hope to touch them all. The worst thought, was that he was here alone. That was just wrong on too many levels for him to bear. There under a bright full moon, he knew what had to happen. This was where they needed to be. He kicked off his shoes and dug his toes into the grass and dirt at his feet. It was almost electric. There was such a grounding to his soul that happened when he did that. Many nights they had set there in that field. Shoeless, playing footsie and letting the earth grab at them. It seemed almost funny to remember that they almost never wore shoes or anything on their feet while they were out here. In the city, you wore shoes everywhere. You had too. Out here, no, hardly ever. It felt like you became a lightning rod for your very existence. The connection between the cosmos, the earth and you…was complete. They had stood more than a few nights, there hand in hand under that moon and felt the universe, the earth…surge through them. It was the most spiritual thing he had ever felt. He had tried to explain it to a few people, but he just couldn’t. How do you put into words that oneness? It is an experience that defies description. He longed for it tonight. He rocked himself up from that old chair. It barely made a sound when you moved it. He had no idea how old it was. He just knew that was the only way you sat alone at night, in that big field.
He raised his hands to the sky. Palms up…what was he hoping for? A sign, a bolt of lightning…something. There was no real response from the universe. There was just that feeling. It was always there when he stood alone, there in the darkness. He always felt he became one of the stars. It wasn’t something tangible, you couldn’t put it into words, you had to feel it. He promised himself that night. He would return to his spot here in the universe, but never again alone. She had to be there with him. Maybe that’s what the universe was waiting for? Did it need the two of them, there under the stars? He knew there was only one sure way to find out. Dusting the dirt from the rails of the chair he set it gently back on the front porch. He wasn’t sure why, there was no one there but him…it’s just what he always did. Once back inside he packed the little overnight bag, locked the doors and windows, grabbed his keys and headed for the car…it would be a quiet drive back to town.
In the driveway he let the car come to a stop, with the lights off. It was still very early, but it was Saturday morning. There was no work today. This surprise had all the makings of an epic encounter. He went in through garage and took off his boots and stripped down to nothing but his briefs. It wasn’t too cold…that would be ok. Once inside the house he felt like he could hear every one of his footsteps. The house was dark, they both liked it that way, but it took his eyes a moment to adjust from the long drive to the darkness inside. He was afraid for a moment she would panic when she heard him enter the room. Since she didn’t know he was coming back so early, he decided it might be a good idea to wash up first. That way he could make enough noise in the bathroom that she would wake up and then, not beat the hell out of him with the ball bat they kept at the side of the bed; just in case.
He quietly closed the door to the bedroom so there was just a little crack for the light to escape. He reached and gently flicked on the switch. He looked in the mirror. There was something about being out there, it changed you. He felt younger, maybe stronger, certainly more alive. It only took a minute before he heard her feet shuffle in the bedroom. He could almost sense her hesitation as she peaked in through the crack. He had not prepared himself for what came next. She almost knocked him over the sink as she grabbed and nearly tackled him with her hug. He knew it might be a nice surprise…this was more than he had hoped. She all but knocked him to the floor and kissed him so hard he could barely breathe. After what might have only been a short moment but felt like a much longer, much nicer length of time. She reeled back on his lap, reached down, grabbed his hips, ground against him…and demanded an explanation.
His mind was chasing thoughts left and right, none of them had anything at all to do with earlier that evening. He tried desperately to focus. Her grinding on top of him made having a productive thought, almost impossible. With just the small lights on above the sink her skin looked almost alabaster as he reached for her. The little nighty was so sheer it was almost as if it wasn’t even there. It felt so good to reach out and touch her. Her nipples were so hard you would have thought they were in the Arctic. He squeezed them between his fingers. She threw her head back, moaned and ground even harder against him. He knew there was something he really needed to talk to her about. Yep, that was going to have to wait. He could feel how warm and wet she was. Even through what little bit of clothing they did have on. He reached up, put his arm around the small of her back, pulled himself up into a sitting position and kissed her, just as hard as she had kissed him.
What little bit of common sense that was still functioning helped him realize that he had a choice between the tile floor in the bathroom or the big California King bed they had spent all that money on…just so they would have the perfect place for moments like this. With less effort than he had hoped, he pushed himself from the floor. She wrapped her legs around his waist, her arms around his neck and they headed into the other room. She quickly flicked the bathroom light switch off and only the soft glow of an early dawn lit the room. Breathing was shallow for both of them. He wanted desperately to be inside her, while he held her there. They shared a chuckle as they both reached down at the same time. She gently slid her panties to one side. He moved his briefs off to the other side. Saying how well they fit together might seem trite. But she was so wet, he was so hard…not much of a challenge for either of them. He stood there, holding her, feeling her around him. He knew it had only been three days, but it really was a sensation that was always indescribable. No one had ever felt so perfect before. Not that there had been, that many, but still.
They had coined a word, early on…. synergy. He still remembered that first time with her. It seemed they had known each other for so long, the timing had always been a little off. Not that time. They seemed to go from spark, to flame, to raging inferno in no time at all. Probably defying whatever rational or common-sense approach to the situation as it existed made it that much…better. Perfect? What did that word mean? He just knew the smile she brought to his face when they saw each other was more than painfully obvious to anyone around them. It had been a strange time for them to find each other. Strange perhaps in that…it too might have almost been the perfect time. They melted into each other. Even the first kiss had been nearly orgasmic, if kisses can be that. No one had made him forget to breathe like she had. The first time their lips found each other. Somewhere in the universe there must have been a ripple in the space/time continuum. The wave that rolled over him at that moment was other-worldly. There was no other way to explain it. Funny to think of silly movie moments at times like that. In The Princess Bride near the end it talks about perfect kisses. This one was off the charts. It was like every cell in his body jumped up and down at the same time. The best part was they both felt it. He often though back to that moment. He believed he could have stood there with her forever. Being in a restaurant parking lot might have made that difficult…..but not impossible.